How do you start a conversation with someone who is a gambling addict?

You feel that a loved one is struggling with a gambling addiction. Maybe they ask you for money from time to time. Maybe they turn down all your ideas to do something together, or they keep canceling. Maybe they often talk about how much money they have won.

Are you worried about the other person? Then maybe it's time for a talk. But; how do you do that? Where do you start? And how do you make sure that there is no argument? With the following 7 steps we give you the tools for a good conversation.

Postpone

Starting a conversation about someone else's gambling addiction is difficult. That is why we often postpone it. Why do we find this so difficult? We are often afraid of the consequences that a conversation will have. Perhaps the person with whom you start the conversation will get angry, or deny everything. Find out for yourself what you are afraid of. Also think about what it would be like if the roles were reversed? Eventually you will have to have the conversation, even if you don't do it, it could hurt your bond.

Take your time

It's not easy to start a conversation about something complicated. Therefore, take the time to talk about this together. Don't bring it up when the other person has to leave or when they were just about to do something. It can be a heavy subject, so deal with it accordingly.

"Do you have time to sit down with me? I want to talk about something."

"I'm worried about you, do you have time to talk?"

Be honest

Do you find it difficult to start this conversation? Then tell them that you find it difficult to discuss this. Don't beat around the bush, but tell what bothers you. Make sure you do not accuse the other person, but keep the conversation to yourself, as in the following example sentences.

"I fiend that I don't really know how to start."

"I know you've been gambling a lot lately. I care about you and i'm not judging you, but i do worry. How does that make you feel?"

"I feel like you're not happy at the moment and i fiend that troubling. I'd like to help you with that."

"You are my (friend, partner ect....). I don't want you to feel like you have to hide something from me."

Keep asking

After you have told your story, ask for a reaction. Give the other person time to process what you have just said.

"What are you thinking right now?"

"How do you feel?"

"What is happening to you right now?"

"Do you need some time to process this?"

Ask for their side of the story as well. Ask why someone gambles? What does it bring them? How does that person see it themselves?

"What do you like about gambling?"

"is gambling still fun for you?"

Listen

Listen to the other person's story and keep asking. Find out as much as you can. Know that it relieves the other person to finally be able to tell their story. The other person probably sensed that something was wrong and this is the moment to tell it all.

Make a plan

On the website there is a step-by-step plan for getting out of a gambling addiction. Look at it together and see what kind of help is needed. The other person knows themselves best and therefore knows what help works best for them. So take the other person seriously and don't start thinking for them.

"What do you think might help?"

"Have you thought about how we van get started with treating your gabling problem?"

"What do you need from me, to be able to solve this problem?"

Look for help together. It can be quite stressful for the other person to look for help and maybe you can help. For example, look on the help-seeker to see what is available in the area, or call Loket kansspel together.

Respect the other person's choice

In the end you can only help someone if they want to help themselves. Hopefully the conversation will be as above and you can move forward together towards a solution. However, not everyone with a gambling addiction wants help. Respect that decision. Someone can only be helped when they are ready. You have done everything you can do.

Want more tips?

Click here for our article 'What to do if your partner is a gambling addict'. Would you rather talk to a counsellor about what to do or how to have a conversation? You can always call us: 0800 2400022