How do you tell someone you're addicted

You have found out that you are a gambling addict, for example by taking the test on the website. It is now important to tell someone about your addiction (in this article you can read more about why that is so important), but how do you do it? How do you start a conversation? What do you say? And how do you make sure it doesn't end in an argument? In this article we give you some tips.

Procrastinate

Starting a conversation about your gambling addiction is difficult. That is why we often put it off. We are often afraid of the consequences. Maybe you're afraid of a fight. Think about what you are afraid of. And think about what you would do if the roles were reversed. Ultimately, you will have to have the conversation, because even if you don't, it can hurt your bond.

Take your time

It's not easy to start a conversation about something complicated. Therefore, take the time to talk about this together. Don't bring it up when the other person has to leave or when they were just about to do something. It can be a heavy subject, so deal with it accordingly.

"Do you have time to sit and talk with me for a while?"

"Can we (name a time and day) sit down for a minute? I need to tell you something."

Be honest

Do you find it difficult to start this conversation? Then tell them that you find it difficult to discuss this. Don't beat around the bush, but tell what's bothering you. For example, tell that you have been gambling a lot lately and that you think you are addicted.

"I find it very difficult to tell you this,"

"I find that I don't really know how to begin."

"I would like to be honest with you and I notice that I find that challenging."

"I notice that I have been spending a lot of time gambling lately, I think I am addicted."

"I gamble a lot and have lost a lot of money, I don't know if I can stop without help."

Tell honestly what gambling does to you, what you love about it or what it has cost you. Tell as complete a story as possible.

"I find gambling a fun game, then I can forget about what's going on around me for a while."

"The moment I start a game I cannot quit, then 1,000 euros can go through just like that."

"Every time I gamble I hope to win back my lost money."

"I find that gambling does not make me happy."

"I know deep down that I won't win anything by gambling, but still I go every time."

Keep asking

After you have told your story, ask for a response. What does this make the other person feel and what is on their mind right now. Sometimes someone needs a moment to respond. Fortunately, you have chosen a time when that time is available.

"What are you thinking right now?"

"How are you feeling?"

"What is happening to you right now?"

"Do you need a moment to process this?"

Listen

Listen to the other person. What is their reaction to your story? Perhaps the other person is not reacting as you had hoped. Try to understand where the other person is coming from and respond accordingly. Hearing that someone is a gambling addict is not easy. You have had time to think about it and get used to the idea. The other person is hearing this for the first time.

Make a plan

Once you have talked about your gambling problem, it is time to make a plan. This doesn't have to be done right away, but it can be done later so you can both take some time to think about what happened. Take the step-by-step plan on the website and ask the other person to help you. Often loved ones stand by helplessly, and are just happy to be able to do something.

"I would love it if you could help me."

"Could you help me? I found an article with steps I can take."

"If I feel like gambling, can I call you?"

Relieved?

Did it help? Do you feel a burden has been lifted from your shoulders? Great! Then you can move forward with recovering from your gambling addiction with new courage.

Need help?

Would you like to talk to one of our counselors after reading this blog, maybe even practice the conversation? Feel free to call, we are happy to help you.